by Casey McGuire

Ultrarunners, who are you people? Why would someone run so far is such a short time? Well, I thought, I love trail running so much that if I had it in me to do such a thing, then I probably would also. So, I thought I’d challenge myself to be able to do such a thing, and then challenge myself to somewhat of an ultra. NO! I’m not going to start with a 100, or even a 50 miler. I’m going to hit one of those “barely qualify” as an ultra ultras, a 50K

Yeah, I know all about these things, because I read a lot of articles about them. Still, I figure I should get the race directors phone number so after the race starts on a Saturday morning, I can call them Tuesday when I’ve finished, to go collect my belt buckle, trophy, thimble, or whatever they give for finishers. I want a t-shirt!

Suddenly, the hype of an ultra becomes clear. I explain this to people, and it goes a bit like this:

“I’m training for a race later this year,” I say, quite handsomely and articulately, as the world seems to smile at my glow, and birds sing just for me. Sure, it’s dramatic, but I always look good in my stories.

“How far are you going to run?” they ask.

“I’m not sure, but the race is a 50K.” And there it is; the eyes open, the jaw drops, and I feel proud of something I haven’t even accomplished yet. I am a giant among men for merely tossing around words.

Of course, they missed my “I’m not sure” joke, and then ask that great American question, “How many miles is that?” It makes me sort of wonder why there was so much shock value regarding my 50K reply when they have no idea how far that is. I guess 50 anythings sounds like a lot to some people.

Well, now I own this conversation, and I usually say it’s around 490 miles, just for a reaction. After a moment of their speechless awe, I go ahead and tell them, “I’m kidding, it’s only 300 miles.” Okay, I just loved the first look so much, I had to lie again. Then, I do actually tell them the truth, “No, no, it’s only 31ish miles.” Throwing in “only” makes me look tough.

“Wow, that’s farther than a marathon,” they’ll say. I don’t know a lot of runners, as you may have gathered from that comment, but my friends are truly math wizards.

And that’s about how those conversations work. The race isn’t for a few months. I’m giving myself plenty of time to train, and I certainly do intend on going through with it. But, for now, I’m going to just go around telling people about other races I won’t even be in. I love the attention. I think I’ll be hitting those 50 and 100 milers in no time with my tall tales.

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